Labeling is always dangerous as it gives one the thought that can be a false message of permanency.
The words, ‘Narcissists and Empaths,’ have become such labels.
Narcissism has been overused and abused. It has gotten to the point that anyone seeking to please oneself is considered, name-called, or labeled a ‘Narcissist.’ Because Narcissism is considered a Mental Health Personality Disorder, and can be found in the Diagnositc and Statistical Manual (DSM) which is the ‘bible’ for mental health practioners, it is even more damaging to label one as such. Reason being is that when one is labeled a Narcissist, it indicates that it is hopeless.
Searching through the internet and speaking with mental health professionals, the usual and actual advice from many sources all point to one solution…..RUN from a Narcissist, as fast as you can!
Narcissism is considered ‘incurable;’ however, I choose to see all ‘incurable’ illnesses, as simply something that means to be ‘cured from within.’ (I first heard this term while viewing the movie “The Secret’ by Rhonda Bryne, stated by one of the doctors in the film).
The question that I pondered was this: Why ARE Empaths and Narcissists drawn to each other? According to the Law of Attraction, like attracts like, but when looking on the ‘surface’ of both of these personality types, they seem as far apart as can be; actually ‘opposites!’ So how can and why does this occur?
Considering Quantum Physics, it is realized that both are on the same vibrational frequency! They vibrations match!…..and as Einstein stated, (in so many words): ‘Everything is Energy; match the frequency of the reality you want, and you cannot help but get it…there can be no other way; this is not philosophy, this is physics…’ That MUST mean that Narcissists and Empaths share the same frequency to ‘match up’…..but how?
Searching more deeply, Empaths have a frequency of feeling ‘not good enough;’ they therefore do all they can to please, to be of service, and will accept mistreatment, because they ‘understand.’ Another way to say it? They have a tolerance level that is much too high, and often return to the perpertrator with loving understanding and compliance, only to be hurt again. Feeling ‘not good enough,’ allows the Empath to continue accepting negative treatment from the Narcissist with the hope that their patience, love, support, etc., will somehow mend the relationship and heal the Narcissist…..and then they can finally ‘feel good enough,’ as they will then have that Love and appreciation returned.
The Narcissist appears to be reaping the benefits from all of this, and continues on the path of mistreatment and selfishness, only thinking of their own feelings; it certainly appears that they place themselves as top priority, thinking the world of themselves, free of any negative feelings of Self at all. However, it is in fact, really quite the contrary!
Something much deeper is going on with the Narcissist. On the deepest level, they also feel not good enough to the point that they will do all they can to feel BETTER, even if it means constantly sucking the energy out of the Empath, continuing to do all they can to make themselves feel ‘good enough,’ (meaning valued, honored, Loved). They will do this at first by being kind, but eventually by showing displeasure, being demanding, or withholding Love and appreciation, to motivate the Empath to give even more, and the Empath does comply in order to feel worthy! And it works…until it does not.
Sadly, no matter how much the Narcissist is treated well, they have the mentality of the following statement: ‘I would never wish to be a member of a club who would have me as a member…’ In other words, ‘…if you like me, then something is wrong with YOU, and therefore, you don’t deserve to be treated well…’
This is the ultimate statement of ‘not feeling good enough.’ Hence the mistreatment of the Empath.
The drama continues as both feel not good enough but go about it in different ways to feel better. One keeps giving with the intention of feeling good enough by seeking approval (The Empath), which with the Narcissist, the kind and loving behavior towards the Empath is short-lived as the Narcissist will be very charming at first to get in good with the Empath to start the relationship off, but will eventually treat the Empath bad, as a form of control to keep the Empath ‘performing.’
The Narcissist will appear to be ‘worthy’ of good treatment, but once they feel that the Empath will comply and exceed all expectations, they start to take the Empath’s loving treatment and/or obedience as a sign of weakness, stupidity, etc., for in their mind, why would someone bother to treat them well, when they do not feel good enough to deserve such good treatment (the Narcissist)?
Remember, this is all done at the sub-conscious level.
But now, what is the solution? As stated, according to our society, there is ‘no cure.’
That is unless there is. How many ‘incurable illnesses,’ are now cured? Too many to mention.
Looking deeper into this ‘destined-to-doom’ relationship, the cure must come from within, where all good resides. Our Energy is Love, which is God; the pure essense of Life. Therefore, nothing is impossible nor incurable.
Love has always been the answer, but not as we are told. It’s not about Loving the other and being sacrifical as we have been taught; rather, it is about Loving SELF; both the Narcissist and Empath must truly look within at what they do not feel good enough about, and Love Self, healthily and completely; for when one Loves Self, then one can finally Love another, and not until then.
Both must first give to Self; but NOT by taking from another, nor by seeking approval from another.
It is about Loving Self for absolutely no reason at all, except that one BREATHES!
For we are ALL magnificent, sacred designs of the Universe and have a right to feel good enough and Loved. Why? Because our true Essense is Love, God…the Great I AM….as WE ARE ALL ONE!
If both the Narcissist and the Empath are Loving Self, then they will love and treat each other with the healthy respect and care that the relationship first stated out to be. But this time, it will stay that way!
For as we all know, Love others as thyself; Love Self as Others…no truer words were ever spoken to cure all ‘incurable ills.’
Many Blessings!
