How many times do we feel that we are treated poorly due to ‘someone else’s’ immaturity?
And how many times do we do something because of our own immaturity, blaming others and never realizing that a shift in our own attitude and behavior would have resulted in an entirely different outcome?
So often we may become angry and hurt, going about our lives filled with an underlying current of contempt for someone’s else behavior, when a shift in our own consciousness would erase those negative thoughts and feelings.
Taking a look at being hurt by someone else’s behavior; why IS it that we are hurt? It usually is because whatever they have done or said has brought out from within us a feeling of not being worthy, adequate, or appreciated.
We feel that somehow we elicited this response from them, rather than that they brought this behavior out from THEIR feelings of not feeling good enough, worthy, etc. …for why would someone wish to cause another pain, if not for they being in pain themselves?…in other words, not knowing who they REALLY ARE. Instead they continue demonstrating self-centeredness (thinking ONLY of Self) and not experiencing or being aware of the connection of ONENESS we all are; part of the same Whole….which is God manifested into beautiful Souls, incarnated in a physical structure….for a little while.
We only find relief once we realize that this behavior towards us is always about THEM, and not US! It helps us to forgive and let go of negative feelings…. but how to do so?
How do we find that relief?
We must first realize that it has nothing to do with our behavior, even if it is negative, as everyone chooses what they wish to BE in RELATION to another. We can choose to be martyrs, victims, masters, etc., we always get to decide. However, it has everything to do with our behavior, in that how we respond is EVERYTHING!
When we blame others for how we feel, we are not taking responsibility for ourselves, and our feelings. The moment we DO take responsibility, we reclaim our power. But HOW do we do THAT? How do we not let it ‘get to us,’ hurt us, or destroy our sense of self?
For it will hurt…until it does not.
Feelings of abandonment, self-doubt, worthlessness, etc., all stem from wounds we have suffered, in that we have allowed another to have us believe in a story THEY tell us about OURSELVES; and so, they not only ‘tell’ us who we are by what they say, but also by how they treat us.
When this happens, if we are not ‘awake’ (aware) of who we REALLY ARE, which is SPIRIT, we may fall into their story and BELIEVE it! Hence the hurt continues, until it does not.
Therefore, the easiest way to stop anyone from hurting us is to remember that immaturity is the reason that we are being hurt and FEELING hurt. Yes, immaturity on BOTH parts! Immaturity stems from ‘not knowing,’ and both victim and perpetrator are suffering because of it, in different ways.
The ‘victim’ is immature and suffering because they are not remembering who they REALLY are; the ‘perpetrator’ is suffering for the same reason… because of immaturity. Both are being something in relation to the abuse, based on immaturity.
In the first situation, as being a victim, if one knew and was in full bloom of adulthood, one would not allow another to abuse them. And, one could not hurt another, if they would know that to do so is actually hurting themselves, as we are ALL ONE.So what IS the true definition of ‘immaturity?’ It is basically not knowing. What is the difference then between innocence and immaturity? It is what we humans look at as ‘time frame.’ If someone behaves without knowing, and is very young, it is called ‘innocence.’
However, as we develop chronologically, aging becomes a ‘reason’ that we MUST behave in a certain way, with usually more seriousness, determination, and manners. In other words, we must act and BE GROWN UP; matured into an ‘adult.’ If we do not fall into that mold, we are labeled ‘immature.’
Society will let us have our way of being immature, until we demonstrate a negative trait. Usually it’s when we cause a problem or hurt someone and it is always though a lack of awareness…..modern day definitions of ‘immaturity’ include ‘not completed growth, and/or something that has not ripened into full bloom.’
There are many different levels of immaturity; it is both immature to demonstrate victimization as well as being a perpetrator. In both situations there is a ‘not knowing.’
Life experiences are thought to push us into ‘maturity;’ but the truth is that we are already mature…we just have ‘forgotten.’
How to become mature? Simply cause another to become that, and it will also be done onto you. Why? Because we are All One, and what you do for another, you do for yourself.
The ultimate maturity is to Love. Love of another; Love of Self. Loving leads to understanding, and when we understand, we don’t even need to forgive, because we realize that we can never be wounded without our own permission. We also will not hurt another, because we understand that we are all connected, and what you do to another, you do to Self.
Loving causes understanding, and with that, all is possible, including the freedom of being neither a victim nor a perpetrator.
And THAT is true Maturity.
Blessings,
